Don't include quotes JS code on every page, put it in js/quotes.js the Hugo way™

1 files changed, 53 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/assets/js/quotes.js b/assets/js/quotes.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d6b0e3b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/assets/js/quotes.js
@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+var quotes = [
+    "I'm not young enough to know everything.", // J. M. Barrie
+    "An ideal french fry is one dimensional.",
+    "I want to see the universe in debug mode.",
+    "The kid was deliberately and maliciously watching television at him.", // Douglas Adams
+    "How anNOYing is it thAT your faVORite mechaNIcal poeTry on whEELS can't even RUN THE SAME GAUGE as the counTRY nextdoor?!",
+    "We're trying to figure out how to report capital gains from time traveling on our tax returns.",
+    "The universe tends toward maximum irony. Don't push it.", // Jamie Zawinski
+    "I bet I just made you refresh the page 110010 times.", // MAKE SURE THIS IS NUM QUOTES
+    "source ~/.bash_history", // https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1975:_Right_Click
+    "echo source ~/.bashrc >> ~/.bashrc", // Same as above
+    "echo 0 | sudo tee /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu*/online",
+    "It tastes like I'm a giraffe.",
+    "憂鬱的臺灣烏龜",
+    "If you refuse this task, I'll break the fourth wall again!",
+    "This quote is intentionally left blank.",
+    "Nobody actually reads these.",
+    "It will make you laugh! It will make you cry! It will make you try the mayonnaise-frosted pie!",
+    "Icicles? Tide pods? No, typos.",
+    "Today, the universe will cease to exist due to rain.",
+    "Her mission, if she chose to accept it (which she did, begrudgingly), was to decrease her own IQ.",
+    "What's next? Pikachu with a buzz cut?",
+    "A(n, 5) doesn't have a name, but scares children.", // https://web.stanford.edu/class/archive/cs/cs166/cs166.1166/lectures/16/Small16.pdf
+    "Delivering... Parcel left country of origin... Parcel destroyed",
+    "I think, therefore I spam.",
+    "Electrocuted medium rare piano, right there!",
+    "Sometimes you suck and sometimes life sucks you.",
+    "Think about how you verb those nouns that you have.",
+    "Probably want to get vaccinated before time traveling.",
+    "Imagine what the banana would look like if it could segfault.",
+    "Whenever something easy does not seem easy, it's probably a typo.",
+    "Put a parenthesis around the banana!",
+    "The math is not mathing here.",
+    "I was thinking before I was thinking.",
+    "The next time you have a fever, I want you to dynamic program your way out of it!",
+    "I promised you Saddam Hussein's LinkedIn and all you got was a Chinese Linux distro cartoon rabbit girl mascot.",
+    "弱电间 Weak Room",
+    "And from that day onwards Zhou was a little bit better at actually cooking his flashcards like a cool instant noodles (IN) chef.",
+    "I have to fold myself to solve it.",
+    "They're compressing ramen with zstd now?",
+    "I forgot there was a camel on my head.",
+    "Nerd (nerd enjoying recursive definitions)",
+    "No proofs, just mouse haircut.",
+    "Breaking news: MIT researchers have discovered that imaginary numbers don't actually exist!",
+    "How do you make weapons out of candy canes? You suck.",
+    "You gargle salt, you gurgle languages.",
+    "It's as easy as buffalo chicken pizza.",
+    "I can walk faster than 30 FPS.",
+    "And that brings us to Next House, formerly home to the world's finest oyster crackers before suffering the Great Oyster Cracker Extinction Event.",
+    "This opens up a whole world of possibilities that I will ignore.",
+    "HELP I'M TRAPPED IN A CSS FACTORY"
+]
+document.querySelector(".quote").innerHTML = "“" + quotes[Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length)].replace("'", "’") + "”";