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// All unattributed quotes are my own or from friends
quotes = [
"I'm not young enough to know everything.", // J. M. Barrie
"An ideal french fry is one dimensional.",
"I want to see the universe in debug mode.",
"The kid was deliberately and maliciously watching television at him.", // Douglas Adams
"How anNOYing is it thAT your faVORite mechaNIcal poeTry on whEELS can't even RUN THE SAME GAUGE as the counTRY nextdoor?!",
"We're trying to figure out how to report capital gains from time traveling on our tax returns.",
"The universe tends toward maximum irony. Don't push it.", // Jamie Zawinski
"I bet I just made you refresh the page 1000000 times.", // MAKE SURE THIS IS NUM QUOTES
"source ~/.bash_history", // https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1975:_Right_Click
"echo source ~/.bashrc >> ~/.bashrc", // Same as above
"sudo rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*", // Same as above
"echo 0 | sudo tee /sys/devices/system/cpu/cpu*/online",
"It tastes like I'm a giraffe.",
"憂鬱的臺灣烏龜", // https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E6%86%82%E9%AC%B1%E7%9A%84%E8%87%BA%E7%81%A3%E7%83%8F%E9%BE%9C
"If you refuse this mission, I'll break the fourth wall again!",
"<style>.quote{color:red;font-family:monospace}</style>Error: You have exceeded your daily limit of free quotes. Please try again tomorrow.",
"Ali's: It's like the limit ordinal of restaurants.",
"It will make you laugh! It will make you cry! It will make you try the mayonnaise-frosted pie!",
"Icicles? Tide pods? No, typos.",
"Today, the universe will cease to exist due to rain.",
"Her mission, if she chose to accept it (which she did, begrudgingly), was to decrease her own IQ.",
"What's next? Pikachu with a buzz cut?",
"A(n, 5) doesn't have a name, but scares children.", // https://web.stanford.edu/class/archive/cs/cs166/cs166.1166/lectures/16/Small16.pdf
"I think, therefore I spam.",
"Electrocuted medium rare piano, right there!",
"Sometimes you suck and sometimes life sucks you.",
"Think about how you verb those nouns that you have.",
"Probably want to get vaccinated before time traveling.",
"Imagine what the banana would look like if it could segfault.",
"Whenever something easy does not seem easy, it's probably a typo.",
"Put a parenthesis around the banana.",
"The math is not mathing here.",
"I was thinking before I was thinking.",
"The next time you have a fever, I want you to dynamic program your way out of it!",
"I promised you Saddam Hussein's LinkedIn and all you got was a Chinese Linux distro cartoon rabbit girl mascot.",
"弱电间 Weak Room",
"And from that day onwards Zhou was a little bit better at actually cooking his flashcards like a cool instant noodles (IN) chef.",
"He was throwing a verbal laptop at my head.",
"This is a tough hurricane. One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water.", // Trump
"I don't understand, I can only undersleep.",
"Nerd (nerd enjoying recursive definitions)",
"No proofs, just mouse haircut.",
"Breaking news: MIT researchers have discovered that imaginary numbers don't actually exist!",
"How do you make weapons out of candy canes? You suck.",
"You gargle salt, you gurgle languages.",
"Assume a cow is a perfect horse.",
"I can walk faster than 30 FPS.",
"Ali's: It's like the limit ordinal of restaurants.",
"This opens up a whole world of possibilities that I will ignore.",
"HELP I'M TRAPPED IN A CSS FACTORY",
"Yes everything is halal brother I go to farm and do it myself the beef.",
"Don't you want to find out if a fox can zap?",
"Why are we projecting my brain down to one dimension?",
"I've never heard of a bagel used as a fire extinguisher before.",
"EEEEEEEEEE THE WORLD'S GREATEST COMPETITIVE PROGRAMMER JUST COLLAPSED FROM MY KAWAIINESS!!!",
"Whoever just pinged @everyone, ple@se st@y @w@y from the @ key unless it's @n emergency. Th@nks!",
"How to waste other people's time 101",
"Name a situation where you'll need to challenge fight a gummy bear.",
"Ah shoot I got initialized.",
"Dress up as a 3-ball and staple your head to your feet.",
"Now is this useful? The short answer is no. The long answer is also no.",
"This is a corporate propaganda manga series by a Hong Kong soy sauce company.",
"Use push relabel, but its time complexity is a fishy fable.",
"My real passion is fulfilling my eternal dream of baking the world's largest Oreo!"
]
function setRandomQuote() {
document.querySelector(".quote").innerHTML = "“" + quotes[Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length)].replace("'", "’") + "”"
}
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